There's sure been a lot of cops on the road lately. Some of them riding in the fast lane, tailing potential rubes, forcing them into the next lane where they catch their breath, relieved that a municipal shark decided not to take a bite out of their wallets. Then, there are those law lions who find a spot in the shade, idling until suitable prey roll by, at which point they pounce, going straight for the jugular. And if they fail, they'll be sure to take a chunk of change with them. Law enforcement and the commoners have never seemed to get along. There has always been a paranoia driven tension between the two.
At this moment in history, a cease fire is necessary for the sake of the species. Gas is too expensive these days for it to be wasted, especially when it's local tax dollars being squandered as cop cars idle on the side of the road. Tail gating and speeding also are efficient methods of gas disposal; scenes of officers speeding to their destination, inches from the car in front of them, are all too familiar to the lowly citizen motorist. The accident a few months back involving the governor was partially the result of the state trooper driver's lead foot.
Summer is a season of driving, and a great time to give people a ticket and a smile, but that has now reached the point of a bit much. It's hard enough to put gas in our own tanks, and merely existing is expensive these days. So why did the national Click It or Ticket campaign kick off right around Memorial Day weekend? How much of our money do they want to take? The environmental implications of the petty-ticket-giving process aren't very good either. Sure, paper is wasted, but tons of carbon gas is released into the atmosphere.
Certainly, we all have seen the new, more intimidating Dodge Charger cop cars; the ones that are probably way too empowering to drive. I imagine every officer who has had the privilege to get the Charger for the day, surrendered to the illusion that he was no mere cop, but a superhero out to preserve the law and save the world. Just look into the face of any officer driving one—if you can muster up the courage that is. If you happen to lock eyes with the dark black shades of the self-declared superhero, it will feel like looking into the eyes of the Terminator, as an expressionless maw greets your innocent curiosity. Be careful or you might just be deemed "suspicious" by the officer's central processing unit.
Nevertheless, it's about time we get down to the cease fire. First off, STOP SPEEDING! This goes for everyone, cops and proles alike. As a speed freak myself, I understand the immense joy, which comes from speeding, but this is not a time where we can afford to enjoy the rush. Since I've returned from the north, where drivers seem to put the car in neutral and roll, I have seen people whipping down the highways and local roads as if gas were worth Pesos. It's not folks, and the current price of gas will seem low once July and August roll around. The government says gas won't break the $4.15 a gallon mark, but this is also the same government who is led by a man who got mad at a reporter who suggested gas would hit a national average of $4 per gallon this summer, saying, "I've never heard that," so it's not true.
Oh Bush, you silly guy, you. It's pretty much at the point in his presidency where the past eight years have been so Bushy that's it's kind of adorable, if it weren't so horribly sad and frustrating.
However, there are measures we can take to not only conserve gas, but to regain our sanity. Riding a bike is a fantastic way to get in shape, get around, save money, and bring some joy to your life if it is lacking in just that. Just think back to the time before you were legally permitted to drive; the time when your bike was your ride. Surely, many good times and fond memories are flooding your head. So, isn't it time that you reclaim those happy days? Cycling is a fantastic way to make exercise fun and enjoyable. If riding a bike doesn't appeal to you, then maybe a motorcycle or a scooter does. They are also fun-to-ride gas-conserving vehicles.
While it would be nice to ask cops to stop patrolling the roads as a means of saving gas and money, it is also impractical. What's not impractical is to ask them to use alternative vehicles or methods, such as turning the car off when they are parked or getting more fuel-efficient vehicles than the Hemi-powered Charger. Then again, having cops do their patrols on bikes wouldn't be such a bad idea either. I'm sure you've noticed plenty of cops who are in need of a good bike ride. Maybe the time has come for us commoners to join hands with the police, for what will be a historical moment, to save gas, the environment, money, and our lives. After all, America is getting rounder, and it's about time that we trim the fat.